ARTICLE

Children's Learning Difficulties

Is your child struggling at school? Do you feel that he, or she, is not quite able to keep up with the class? Do you fear they may have learning difficulties and need special help? Are you tearing your hair out trying to help them remember their multiplication tables, or read?

Many parents with otherwise healthy children, begin to worry when the child starts school and just doesn't seem to cope academically as well as they would like.

Of course there are children with problems that require special care, but it is a sad indictment on our society that many children suddenly end up on medication or labelled 'special needs', when in any other society they would be perfectly normal. Why? Because, firstly, our academic system is designed for one type of teaching only and we are all individuals, so it just doesn't fit all children.

Secondly, our diets are specially designed to send our brains into permanent stress mode.

So what can you do?

How to help your child be positive about learning

We don’t all learn the same way or at the same rate!

How food affects the brain

How to help your child be positive about learning

Children are naturally incredibly receptive. They are, if you like, in a trance most of the time as they are highly focussed on one thing or another, hardly ever calmly taking in everything that is happening around them.

There is no need to hypnotise children - they are already there! They are constantly absorbing at a subconscious level. Every negative thought you have about them is conveyed to them, they are incredibly sensitive to your moods and to everything you say. In fact, you are constantly 'hypnotising' them, in the true sense! I mean that honestly. The work of a therapist is to de-hypnotise people so that they can get rid of all the negativity they have been surrounded with! As you get older, you can more easily learn to discern what you are taking in, but as a child you really don't have any choice - your are in learning mode by design!

You can take advantage of this receptivity and help them by encouraging them and believing in them. For specific learning, here is an example of how it can work. Use a little story-telling .... (I will use 'he' instead of 'he/she' to make it easier).

Start off with a story about something he has learned in his life…
e.g .“When you were very little, and you tried to walk, you didn’t just get up and walk – you fell down a lot of times, but you always got up again and we were Soooo proud of you when you took your first step, and then your first few steps …. You have learned SO much in your life. And when you learned to talk… at first you only had a few words you could say, and then you learned more, and more, and you remembered them ALL. And now you have so many words that you can say that I can’t even count them! And you even learn new words every day too, don’t you?"

(some discussion is bound to follow. Make sure that you have anchored the state that he CAN learn things! – and you are anchoring them for yourself as well –reminding yourself that your child is normal, clever, capable of learning what he needs to learn in this life – remembering that every time you say something even slightly negative you are conveying to him that you think he can’t learn, that he has a problem. He WILL take his cue from you! YOUR attitude HAS to be one of assuring him that he will learn whatever he needs to, when he is ready and that he CAN if he wants to…. )

Okay, moving on then ....you can beging to talk about something that your child loves to do, that you know he feels proud of his achievement. e.g. "Can you remember how you learned all the names of the people on your computer game? Can you remember how good it felt to learn that? Can you feel how proud of yourself you are that you know that?"

(He may make comments about how he even sometimes forgets something about this – but you remind him that it is just like when he was learning to talk, or walk, he would sometimes not get it right, but of course he always does now, doesn’t he? He never forgets how to say “I’m hungry, Mum!” or “No, I don’t want to do that!” does he? – have a laugh together about how silly it would be if he forgot how to do certain things – go to the loo – brush his teeth, or if he forgot what he liked for breakfast! Or what if he forgot his name? Now wouldn’t that be silly? Of course he NEVER forgets the important things!! – you get the gist of the conversation…..)

So – getting back to how good he feels remembering something he DOES know and learn…. play a little game, make it real to him by asking him "Now …ok… can you feel how it feels to be really proud of yourself when you have learned something? Where do you feel it? Can you make that feeling really big, so that it fills up your whole chest and head? Your whole body? Feeling really good about yourself? ... Good…do you remember how you were a bit impatient sometimes trying to learn ….(whatever)?"

(perhaps he might want to describe his impatience, how it felt at the time .. and then how he got it right … leading back to the good feeling. By now he will have the idea – and he will most probably describe – with your encouragement - other things that he learned, and that he sometimes forgets, and how he sometimes feels frustrated / impatient / as if it’s difficult, and then he remembers eventually!)

The real trick is to get him visualising and feeling how good it feels when he learns things, how good he feels when he does remember, so that he anchors the fact that he does learn, that sometimes it takes a while, but that it does go in and that he is, in fact, normal, clever, capable etc.

The LAST thing you want is for him to think in any way that he is less than what you expect, or that he has a problem, that he is different, or stupid! If he has those thoughts then he has been ‘hypnotised’ into believing them, and your job is to de-hypnotise him (and perhaps yourself, too)

Try not to fall into the trap of expecting your child to be like everybody else...

Rates of learning

It is important to remember that everybody learns at a different rate, and in a different way. We don’t expect all babies to sit upright by themselves at exactly five months or to walk at nine months, and those in the 'infant' profession go to great lengths to reassure parents that their babies are perfectly normal even if they only walk at 18 months. The thing is, we still think our kids are somehow ‘less’ if they take longer – that feeling gets conveyed to the child – whether it is because they sat up later, or walked later, or talked later.

That is because we are victims of our western society that is so competitive about these things. (Strangely, in trying to take the competitiveness out of the system, it has only made it worse in other ways, especially at secondary level - but I won't go into that here!). It is small wonder that we, as parentw who were brought up to value this academic competitiveness so highly, get nervous when our child isn't keeping up with his peers, even though his is only 6, 7 or eight years old!

There are cases ofchildren who only learned to read at 8, 9, 10, 11 and yet once they did they very quickly (within weeks) could read as well, or even BETTER, than their peers. Parents who believe in autonomous education (see the home schooling link above) have read and researched these facts and are determined to allow their children to grow and learn at their own rate. They believe completely in their children and they put their faith squarely on the line. The great thing about the UK is that parents are actually responsible for educating their children, not schools! You probably didn't know that. The law says that "You may delegate the responsibility to a school ..." interesting isn't it? So don't blame the schools, they do their best.

Another example of a slow learner was Albert Einstein. Einstein was terrible at maths at school (his biographies are very interesting) and he always professed to being awful at arithmetic, even when he was a famous professor of physics! His teachers actually thought he would never amount to anything. He learned to talk very late and was a late reader, too. They actually thought he was retarded! His first thesis was rejected! (honestly!). He came up with the idea of relativity, he said, because he thought like a child! It is a credit to him that he didn't believe what was told to him - or perhaps it was a credit to his parents for believing in him...?

What am I trying to say? If it isn't entirely obvious by now ... relax!

Except for SATS, which really isn't a pass/fail situation as these days children don't 'fail' and have to repeat a year. Personally, I prefer that system. Except for that one occasion of going to a lower group, which a child soon gets over (I witnessed it often in my own school life), the child is given the opportunity to learn at his rate and not constantly expected to 'keep up', ending up in the lower group for his entire school life. But, of course, that is only my opinion.

The fact is, in this country, children can leave school at 16 illiterate - and some do! Why? How can this be helped? Well, I have my answer - let them learn at their own pace, instead of pushing them ahead until they are convinced that they are useless and give up trying all together!

If you can, get your child extra help - but wait until he is ready! Trying to force him to read when his mind just isn't 'there' yet, or interested yet, is adding to the problem. Wait until he is a little older and then give him extra tuition yourself, or get some outside tuition, starting again at the basics. You will see how easily he gets it, if you have managed things right.

If he has already lost interest, or is already convinced that he can't or is stupid, keep trying with positivity and encouragement. If YOU believe in him, he will believe in himself - eventually!

As a home educator myself, one of my children had difficulty remembering anything to do with figures. Fortunately he learned the basics in a very rote type way. Many people don't like this form of learning, but when a child does not grasp the way numbers work, then at least rote learning enables them to do the basic sums and to 'keep up' until, hopefully, something 'clicks' and they begin to understand the concept of numbers.

I struggled trying to get him to remember his multiplication tables, and I had plenty of time. He never really did. How many adults do you know today who know their 'times tables'? Very few, I would bet! Anyway, the incredible thing is that when he started working as a part-time sales assistant when he was 16, within a few days he could remember codes as if they were the names of his best friends! Later, at college, (we only home educated to GCSE level so that they could diversify into their interests after that), he remembered only what he was interested in. Of course - don't we all? That is perfectly natural. Learning the way we do at school is not natural at all, and we forget almost all of it very quickly.

Currently he is continuing his studies while working as a parts advisor, and guess what? After a week or two he can rattle off any part number, remembers every make and model and what parts are needed for each model for any particular job, without even blinking!

I proved to both him and myself that I was right when I kept telling him "you have a prefectly good brain. You can remember anything you want to ... you just have to want to!"

There may, however, be other factors at work ...

The effect of food on the brain

Most people, by now, know that sugar has an awful effect on our moods, abilities and energy. If you aren’t convinced, read "Sugar Blues” by William Dufty, or one of the many other books on Food and Mood.

However, it isn’t only sugar, colourants and preservatives (although these are the most well known and researched culprits). Food intolerances can create havoc with the brain (read Complete Guide to Allergy and Food Intolerance By: Jonathan Brostoff, Linda Gamlin)

Even the way you combine your food can make a difference.

Why are we surprised that what we put into our bodies affects our minds? We seem to vaguely grasp that what we eat can make us ill, and almost accept that a lack of nutrients can cause problems, but we balk when it comes to the mental aspect. We understand that chemicals affect our minds, moods and brains, so why can’t we accept that those chemicals and hormones are produced by our bodies, which are fed by food!

Bear in mind that a food sensitivity is not the same as a food allergy! With a food sensitivity you are often addicted to the very foods that are causing the problem. Also, they do not give an allergic or immediate reaction. In fact, they often make you feel better for a short while. Their effect is much longer term and the only way to really discover whether you have a food intolerance is to to an elimination diet. You are welcome to email me and I will send you more information on how to go about this.

If you do some research on the internet or do some serious reading, you will find hundreds of examples of how food causes hyper-activity, learning problems, depression, mood swings, anxieties and even schizophrenia!

Yet even the medical profession doesn’t really bother much about nutrition and poo-poo the idea of intolerances. Fortunately more and more are being enlightened as they do their own research and discover that there is really something to this! Fortunately there are doctors who have written brilliant books, opened clinics to help people in this important health area (mainly in the U.S.A as the British establishment is a lot slower in adapting to anything outside of their established little boxes – but there are some if you look carefully).

Useful Contacts in the UK and other links:

Action Against Allergy (AAA) is a registered national charity founded in 1978 by Mrs Amelia Nathan Hill who solved chronic health problems since her childhood by following the advice of Dr Richard MacKarness regarding food sensitivities.

Hyperactive Children's Support Group:
The Hyperactive Children's Support Group is a registered charity which has been successfully helping ADHD/Hyperactive children and their families for over 25 years. The HACSG is Britain's leading proponent of a dietary approach to the problem of hyperactivity. Although it has to be said that you should read other material as well, (as suggested above) as there could be more benefit from their diets than the Feingold Diet as advocated by this group.

Food Intolerance Network - independent information about the effects of food on behaviour, health and learning ability in both children and adults.

For Doctors:
The British Society for Allergy and Environmental Medicine is an organisation for doctors interested in food intolerance, chemical sensitivity and related matters. (they do not deal with enquiries from the general public).

More about John Holt:
John Holt and Growing without schooling is a site dedicated to the work and advice of John Holt.

Psychotherapist, Hypnotherapist, EFT, CBT, London, Guildford, Woking, Worplesdon, Fox Corner, Pirbright, St Johns, Knaphill, Ripley, Send, Farnborough, Godalming, Farnham, Byfleet, Lightwater, Weybridge, Cobham, Surrey, Middlesex, Hampshire

"An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory." (Friedrich Engels )

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